Upon the arrival of a child, every new parent wishes the newborn arrived with an instruction manual. Since every couple and every child is different, a generic manual seems like it would be impossible, right? Well, here's the thing: we have been given a manual for life, but since we have been conditioned by decades of religious interpretation, we have lost sight of some of the essential guidance the Bible presents to us as parents.
I think I would call my book: The Care and Raising of a Prince. I think kids should realize their worth and value to God from a very early age, and in order to instill that in them, they need to understand their position as a child of the king of kings. There is really NO good thing that comes from telling a person how wretched they are--and once a person becomes a believer, they are made righteous through Christ. Instead of training a child to recognize and overcome their wretchedness, we should offer them a positive platform upon which to understand not only their position as a royal prince (or princess) but also the responsibilities that come with the role.
Could I write the book? Based on a lifetime of mistakes and wrong choices, I certainly have enough material to make a case against a strict religious style of parenting, but I don't have a lot of examples to pull from to see the other side--a family in which the children are taught from an early age how to genuinely love and accept themselves and others as God loves and accepts all of us. One where as the child grows in stature he also grows in wisdom and compassion.
When I am out and observing people with their children, mostly I see frustrated, tired parents with out-of-control children, and usually the response to the children is anger, not love. I read about people's concerns about their children, pointing out all their short-comings and faults, but why not focus on a person's strengths instead of pointing out their weaknesses?
Just some ideas knocking around in my heart and head. What do you think?
I was raised in a what I call, 'Christmas Catholic' family. I only went to weekly Mass b/c of Sunday school, and after confirmation at 14, I only went on Christmas Eve. I wasn't raised with much compassion...my mom thought 'tough love' was the route to take and I was always told to suck it up and knock it off. There was so much emotional and mental abuse that I vowed to never have kids b/c I was too afraid I'd be the same way or my mom would tear down my kids the way she did to me.
ReplyDeleteI like to believe that every parent does the best they can with what they know. I certainly never set out to ruin my kids or do things that would stunt them! Nonetheless, it would sure be easier if we could be parents backward so when they are young we have a lifetime of learning to pull from!
DeleteOh...parents backward. Would that we could!!! Isn't it amazing how quickly life goes by and how many things we would do differently if we had the chance??
ReplyDeleteAs a parent of two little ones, I can definitely understand (and unfortunately relate to) how easy it is to get tired and frustrated and forget to be compassionate. Fortunately I'm training myself to try to be better about that. It's not always easy, but it's definitely worth it.
ReplyDeleteLove your message!